NorthGeek

Leave it to the Germans to be logical

Bucking the industry trend of making every new version of a car or SUV heavier than the last, VW’s new SUV has gone on a diet. That alone is not exactly newsworthy, until one realizes how substantial that diet has been. Indeed, it seems “Frau VW” has been hitting both the elliptical trainer and Activia yoghurt like a fiend, and it’s showing.

VW appears to have come to their senses and asked themselves, “If ze customers don’t vant to go off ze road, zen vy do vee keep building our cars like zis?” Then they answered this question by ridding the Touareg, VW’s biggest SUV, of its burly, off-road-specific mechanical bits, decreasing the vehicle’s price and weight in the process.

For the tiny fraction of current Touareg owners who actually venture off-road, VW will still offer the complicated, heavy, off-road gear as an extra-cost option. For the rest of the pavement-bound customers, VW will employ a less heavy-duty AWD system, one that’s more suited to on-road performance than to rock crawling up the side of a mountain. All in, this eschewing of unneeded 4wd mechanical complexity translates to a 450 lb. weight savings. That’s the weight of 3 people, or 2 decent-sized bratwurst platters.

With the lower weight, the Touareg’s already-impressive on-road performance will undoubtedly improve. Factor that in with the typical Volkswagen/Audi 1st class interior and exterior design, and this truck is sure to be a sales success.

So to review, the Touareg will weigh 10% less, will be more fuel efficient, thanks to new Hybrid and diesel options, will drive better, and will be even better looking. This is around the time I realize it’s too good to be true, and my Jewish self reminds me these guys were, in darker times, the industrial apple of Hitler’s eye. Even still, VW builds some nice cars.

Thanks to Autoblog for the photo

My friend, Phil Part II

One of our first posts on NorthGeek.com was a short film starring our good friend, Phil Dubrovsky in an elevator. It was funny stuff. This video is a bit different, as it shows our buddy Phil outside, and it’s a TV commercial, not a short film. It’s a great ad! That’s my unbiased opinion.

Stellar performance, Phil. Enjoy:

Why’d you do it, VW?

The Volkswagen New Beetle, the original retro-revival city car and a smash hit for VW – inspiring the likes of the PT Cruiser, the MINI, and the new Fiat 500 – is getting very, very long in the tooth. Believe it or not, it’s been in production for nearly 12 years – an eternity in the car industry. So how is VW celebrating this car’s success and longevity? By playing “dressup,” of course.

PASS

Yes, VW has decided to dress their New Beetle with Porsche-inspired racing paint. Look, I’m as smitten by the go-fast orange paint on race-ready Porsches as any car guy, but painting a Beetle like a race car – and yeah, I’ll give special dispensation to Herbie The Luv Bug – just does not work. The Germans, once the purveyors of restraint and common sense, have brought tackiness to a new level.

Why’d you do it, VW? Exactly how many hairdressers and sorority girls clamoured for a “racing-inspired” version of their favourite city runabout? Yeah, I thought so.

It’s a little bit like Nike deciding to sponsor golf legend Jack Nicklaus, in the twilight of his career, and then asking him to dress in Tiger Woods’ signature red-&-black golf duds, and finally, insisting that he do his best version of the Tiger Woods Fist Pump after every winning putt. I cringe at the idea. And I hate golf.

FAIL

Open Source Motoring, a.k.a. Sometimes You Can Never Have Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen

I’m reluctant to use the term “open source,” as it may suggest to you, dear Northgeek, that I know the first thing about computers, programming, or any such nerdery (with all due respect to my fellow nerds), because I don’t. I don’t understand Linux, or why it exists.

That having been said, as a hopeless car geek, I can absolutely appreciate the concept behind the Rally Fighter, developed by Local Motors and, more importantly, by you.

Imagine, if you will, a car company that is run like a for-profit, open source co-op: the best solutions for every element of the car’s design and execution win – whether those ideas come from the CEO or from a hobbyist in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. Is this the future of automobile manufacturing? The brave new world that says “adios” to Henry Ford’s assembly line? Mmmm, not yet. But the concept is damned cool.

Behold, the Local Motors Rally Fighter, or what apparently happens when a 50’s Corvette mates with a monster truck. Thanks, as always, to Jalopnik for spreading the word.  More info here.

Vladimir likes to shoot stuff and go off-roading, but he also likes to party.

God love the English upper class. They are, by all accounts, the cradle from which WASP refinement and modesty originated. By their playbook , if you are blessed with the genes that afford you the birthright of land ownership, a title, an uber-hyphenated name, etc., etc., then you act accordingly: you drive a rickety old Land Rover, you wear tweed, and you generally keep a low profile as you go about your patrician daily activities of gardening, hunting, drinking, inbreeding, and otherwise maintaining your estate. Much beyond those activities, whether you run an organic farm, a dog-fighting ring, or collect Crimean war-era artifacts on the side is entirely up to you, old sport.

But that was then, this is now. In this age of Cool Britannia, tastes have changed. Footballers, musicians , and Russian mobsters have replaced the moneyed old world elite in England as the aspirational conspicuous consumers of the day. In other words, Nouveau Riche is in, and stodgy old Land Rover has hopped on the bandwagon and embraced their inner baller. The result is this, the Overfinch Range Rover by Holland & Holland. The car’s off-road prowess remains, but is now clearly matched by the strength of its pimp-hand. This beast mixes the old guard hobbies of shooting birds, drinking whiskey, and driving off-road on your estate with the new world hobbies of shooting people, drinking Crystal, and driving off pavement to park next to the velvet rope of your club. Progress indeed.

[Image courtesy of Jalopnik]

When you absolutely need to guarantee first tracks on a powder day…

New rule: if you are a young Swedish dude possessing Nordic good looks and the cojones to stylishly huck yourself off 90-foot booters, then that should be enough. You do not need a matte black Lambo Murcielago (or Gallardo, for that matter) with a SKI BOX ON THE ROOF – for fuck’s sake, Jon Olsson, leave some ski bunny luv for us mere mortals. Check out Cartorialist for the full lodown.

I would absolutely turn redneck for the Raptor

Apologies for running silent for so long. The fleeting sun of Montreal summer forced this northgeek outdoors for the past few months. But now that my skin is a shade or two less pale – now merely pastey – I can happily resume trawling the internets and reporting on things that bear mention.

I don’t pay much attention to pick-up trucks, at least not since my days ski bumming in Whistler, where the Ford F250 super-duty + sled combo was the ultimate sign of ski town upward mobility – both literal and figurative. This rig, however, could turn me back:

http://jalopnik.com/5343872/2010-ford-f+150-svt-raptor-first-drive

I would become a lumber-haulin’ home builder, or maybe start sand dune surfing, or maybe hunt big game in the desert (I’m looking at you, giant worms from the movie “Tremors”!), just to justify owning and operating such a monster. What would you do??

2009 Bentley Man. on Man.

Here’s a highly amusing review of the latest uber-Bentley, courtesy of Vanity Fair magazine’s resident gay auto scribe, with a little help from the editors at Jalopnik.com.

Be sure to check out the photo of the “gay-friendly” climate control system. Immature? Perhaps. Hilarious? Definitely.

BMW has done gone brought sexy back.

There has been enough ink spilled about the questionable direction that former BMW design chief, Chris “I have an ego bigger than the J-Lo-sized rump of the 7 series sedan I designed” Bangle, took BMW’s styling over the past decade such that I will spare you from further whining about it. Suffice it to say, in an effort to break the cycle of look-alike Bimmers that were coming out of Bavaria in the late 1990’s – pretty as those cars were – Bangle ended up penning some cars whose looks were polarizing at best, and ass-ugly at worst. Now, with Bangle’s departure, BMW has returned to fine form with a new, more fluid design language, the first example of which is the new 2009 Z4. With the new Z’s introduction, BMW has proven two things, as far as I can tell: 1) BMW still knows how to build a gorgeous car, and 2) It is possible to build a hardtop convertible whose proportions aren’t awkward. Bravo.

Yes, but how will it handle a marble surface? And how effectively will it storm a beach??

As I continue to contribute to NorthGeek, I would like to state here and now that I will try my absolute best to limit my gushing over BBC’s Top Gear, with this one post being the exception.

Suffice it to say, Top Gear is the highest rated show in Britain for good reason: the production values are staggeringly high and the casting is superb, with 3 opinionated, smart, charismatic, and hilarious hosts, who never mince words, be it about the cars they’re testing, their own social views, or even what they think of the BBC. If any car is not up to snuff, they will happily roast it to hell, without giving a hoot about what their advertisers might say.

So with 12 superb seasons under their belt, one would think Clarkson and Co. would be fresh out of ideas for how to tart up an otherwise mundane test-drive of a mundane hatchback – albeit a very good one, but a hatchback just the same. And then they did this. What isn’t shown on the video is host Richard Hammond first reading a letter from a viewer who asks why they don’t test-drive their cars more thoroughly. Enjoy.