NorthGeek

My friend, Phil Part II

One of our first posts on NorthGeek.com was a short film starring our good friend, Phil Dubrovsky in an elevator. It was funny stuff. This video is a bit different, as it shows our buddy Phil outside, and it’s a TV commercial, not a short film. It’s a great ad! That’s my unbiased opinion.

Stellar performance, Phil. Enjoy:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Zedmo secures substantial investment from local business

(digg this story!)

VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA – February 4th 2009
John Stapleton, Business Tech, AP

“Thursday was a huge, huge day for us” exclaimed Noah Bloom, co-founder of Zedmo, a Vancouver-based startup developing the universe’s greatest location-based mobile social community.

“I was just going about my day as I normally would – checking my email, browsing the news stories on my America Online portal, and updating my eHarmony profile, when I received a phone call from an angel, who claimed his name was Mike” continues Bloom. “I didn’t believe Mike for a second, so I quickly looked around the room of 2010 cohort enemies – uh, I mean companies – to see who could be playing this evil trick on me. Anthony was sitting in his chair not on the phone, Jamie was busy tweeting his next publishable masterpiece, Mack was under his desk wearing a hood, and Team Romania was hard at work shining their Google pens. Daniel, my co-founder, was busy complaining about his recent ski accident, so it surely wasn’t him pranking me.”

What happened next, forever changed the face of Zedmo. A struggling startup duo of Bloom and Wolfe, who dropped everything to join the 2010 Bootup Labs Cohort, were, until yesterday, surviving off leftover sandwiches found in dumps around the city, and the occasional “fresh” peanut butter and tuna sandwich.

“Being a startup is very tough,” says Wolfe. “It’s not like in the movies where you can rub a lamp and a naked woman comes out of it. It’s tougher than that.”

As you can tell by now, the Associated Press mandates us writers to write our stories in such a way that the reader needs to read all the way to the end of a story to find out what the story is actually about. But, because I know my audience is fairly small, I will cut to the chase here.

Nester’s, a top-notch grocer (according to some, but not all… ANTHONY NICALO…) located just steps from the Bootup Labs office in one direction, and steps from Zedmo’s underground home lair in the other, has made a significant investment in Zedmo. Without acquiring any equity in Zedmo, Nester’s has injected $5,200 worth of groceries into the startup. Terms of the deal are still a bit shady, but a spokesperson for Nesters, Mr. Michael Grocerman, has told the Associated Press that, “…the orange juice cannot be diluted.”

So, how did Daniel Wolfe ever score such a great co-founder, with the ability to close investments so early in the game? We asked, and he explained.

“I have what’s called a silver tongue. That’s it.”

And you thought the Olympics were the biggest story out of Vancouver.

When asked what Zedmo plans to do with this influx of food, they were quick to point us in the direction of their appointed PR agency, for reasons of secrecy and not giving too much away to the competition:

“First, they supplied the 2010 Cohort with Odwalla juices, so as not to cause any unfriendly conflict or envy around the office. Further to this, Zedmo hopes to build on this investment by purchasing fancy foods and supplies, such as turkey, cheese and crackers, and non-generic cling wrap. No further comments, my clients are very tired from the celebrations last night.”

Although this recent investment has placed Zedmo founders Noah and Daniel in the spotlight among “everybody who’s anybody” from the Valley up to Vancouver, the dynamic duo promises to remain down to earth, although sources tell the AP that Daniel was spotted drinking Tropicana orange juice, while Noah was seen washing his hands with a bar of Lever 2000 – for all his 2,000 body parts (including hands).

For more information on Zedmo and their location-based mobile application, please contact info@zedmo.com

PLEASE NOTE: Zedmo is still accepting further investment, so don’t be shy.

Bud Light makes excellent commercials!

Something (else) to do in Quebec when you’re bored

Have you ever sat around with a bunch of friends, not knowing what to do? Bored, and playing a game of Life or making s’mores just won’t cut it? Try this:

Whip out your Quebec Medicare card (RAMQ). Notice the first four letters on your card are made up of the first three letters of your last name, followed by the first letter of you first name.

Go around the circle (because these days, all friends sit on the floor in a circle, right?) with everyone coming up with a made-up name that would make an awesome Quebec Medicare card.

To get things started, I’ve provided some inspiration:

- Natasha Poorsly and her father, Peter Poorsly
- Tara Shire
- Tom Cunningsworth
- Paul Cranshaw
- Wilma Bloomberg
- Tanya Farnham
- Scott Asserman
- Kelly Wang (hehe, her last name is funny already)

And so on, and so forth. Please, send us your best names!

Enjoy the hours and hours of laughs.

I have been the victim of a major scam!

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven’t heard about it. This will only become more commonplace…

A ‘heads up’ for those men who may be regular Lowe’s, Home Depot, or Costco customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Please, don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.

How the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping bags into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to McDonald’s. You agree and they get into the back seat.

On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen November 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also December 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of men.

Warn your friends to be vigilant.

P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K Mart. Also, you’ll never get to eat at McDonald’s. I’ve already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe’s, Home Depot, and Costco.

Happy Nickmas!

So this is what the kids are watching these days…

The NorthGeek HowTo Series: Ice fish like a Canadian

Clearly, Canadians are a little insane.

What’s happening? Happy in Paraguay

Star Trek: The Next Generation, remixed.

The Muppets are Timeless

Who hasn’t seen them perform Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen yet? Follow The Muppets on Twitter.

Momma!

The NorthGeek HowTo Series: Play guitar like Slash

We at NorthGeek feel bad. Why, you ask? Well, we feel bad because we have so much darn talent, and it’s tough for us to share it all.

Enter: The Internet. Thanks to this relatively new invention called The Internet, and a small property on this Internet called “YouTube” -- I know, funny name -- we can share our talents with you -- the world. Here is chapter one: